HOOKERS
by phantomoftheopera111
Summary: Story 37. Jack makes possibly the worst mistake of his life.


Wowzers. In my little uploading spree, I've gained some story favs... you people ROCK!

I just want to throw a big shout out to Bookworm717. Uh, you are super bloody awesome and I bow to you. Thank you for all the favs, dearie. :) This story's for you. Sorry about the title... I mean it can't be everyone's wish to have a story dedicated to them with the title of "Hookers"... Ehh... I owe you a better story... tell me who you like and I'll find you a good story in my collection. XD

Thank you, you wonderful people you. 3

* * *

HOOKERS

* * *

Ivy walked into the Iceberg with Harvey behind her. Jonathan and Selina were already sitting down at their normal booth in the corner.

Selina smiled when she saw the couple, "Hey guys."

Jonathan smiled and gave them a nod.

Harvey gave them a half smile and sat down next to Jonathan.

"Hi," Ivy murmured sitting next to Selina.

"So what is this about?" Jonathan asked.

Harvey cleared his throat, "We have something we have to tell you."

Selina grabbed the table and gave a squeal. Harvey widened his eyes and shook his head rapidly. Selina raised an eyebrow and sat back down; she cocked her head at Harvey.

"Thanks," Ivy muttered as Holly set a glass of water in front of her. Ivy began swirling the cup around.

"Well, it isn't good news, is it?" Jonathan asked.

Harvey sighed, "Not really."

"What is it?" Selina asked curiously.

"We asked you both to come here because we wanted to inform you of our 'situation'."

Selina raised an eyebrow, "And it is?"

"I'll tell them," Ivy mumbled through her drink.

"You sure?"

"Someone just say it," Jonathan snapped, "The suspense is going to drive me insane."

Ivy sighed, "Please don't tell anyone."

"Pam wasn't even gonna let me tell you two," Harvey added.

"I don't want Jack, or anyone else to find out."

"Wait, what about Harley?" Selina asked.

"Harley found out a few years ago. I made her swear to me she'd never tell Jack. Now I need you guys to promise me."

"I promise," Selina responded looking at Harvey and Ivy.

"Me too," Jonathan promised.

Ivy sighed, "I can't have kids."

Selina's mouth dropped open and Jonathan's eyes widened.

For a few minutes no one said anything. Ivy's gaze fell to her water glass.

"Oh my God…" Selina murmured, "Oh God, Pam…"

Ivy looked up at Selina with a sad smile.

Selina put her arms around Ivy and gave her a comforting hug, "Poor baby."

Ivy blinked quickly, trying to stop the brimming tears.

"Pamela, I'm so sorry…" Jonathan sympathized.

Ivy put one of her hands on Jonathan's and mouthed the words thank you.

Jonathan turned to Harvey, "I'm sorry Harvey."

Harvey gave a quiet chuckle, "Yeah. Me too."

Jonathan knew Harvey had always wanted a big family.

Selina rubbed Ivy's back. Ivy inhaled sharply and cupped one hand over her face.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Selina asked.

Ivy shrugged, "I didn't want to bring it up. It's kind of a conversation killer."

Selina smiled sadly and let go of Ivy, "I'm sorry."

Jonathan sighed, "I'm sorry. Both of you. I know this must suck. A lot."

Harvey smirked, "Yeah. It was pretty unexpected."

Ivy bit her lip and shivered.

Harvey put his hand on Ivy's hand and rubbed it, giving her a small smile.

"So now what?" Jonathan asked.

Ivy sighed, "I don't know."

"Hell, me either," Harvey muttered.

Selina sighed, "It's alright. I know you two will get lucky one day."

Ivy smiled sadly, "I hope."

Harvey nodded, "Me too."

Jack walked into the Iceberg with Harley following close behind him, "Harvey!"

Harvey looked up from the corner with Jonathan, Ivy, and Selina.

"Please don't say anything," Ivy whispered.

"Pam, he's bound to find out sooner or later," Jonathan reminded.

Ivy pouted, "For now, please."

Jonathan sighed and nodded.

"Whatcha all talkin' 'bout?" Harley asked grinning.

"Jonathan's girlfriend," Selina lied.

Jonathan sighed and gave Harvey a pleading look.

"Here is a topic, I much enjoy," Jack smiled sitting down next to Jonathan.

"Well now we've stopped," Jonathan added.

"Yeah right."

"We have. Now we've moved onto who is the worst in bed. So far, you top the polls," Harvey snickered.

"Very funny," Jack rolled his eyes.

"You ok Red?" Harley asked sitting next to her friend.

"Hmm? Oh yeah. I'm good," Ivy faked a smile.

Harley looked at her, unsure, "Ok then…"

Ivy went back to swirling her water glass.

"Did you hear the good news?" Harley asked the group.

"Mmm, no?" Selina responded.

"Puddin' won a bet with Ozzie."

"Over what?" Harvey asked.

"Which one of his waitresses is the sluttiest," Jack smirked.

"You're an idiot," Jonathan mumbled.

"So Ozzie said I can come to the Iceberg tonight and get wasted off my ass. Anyone want to come?"

"I'm going… somewhere tonight," Jonathan admitted.

"Where? A date?" Jack asked.

Jonathan thinned his lips and looked down.

Harvey laughed, "I don't think I can come tonight."

Ivy looked at Harvey and gave him a small smile.

"Why not?" Jack whined.

"Pammy might need me," Harvey shrugged.

Jack growled, "You both suck."

"Looks like you are gonna have to get drunk alone," Jonathan smirked.

"Yeah, just don't bring home any hookers," Selina snickered.

Harley growled, "He better not."

"Yeah, yeah," Jack muttered.

* * *

Jack stumbled from the bar, "Hey babe, I'm going home."

Holly looked over at him, then at the clock, "You know you've been here for almost three hours getting drunk. Are you sure you're going to be fine getting home?"

"Huh? Oh yeah."

"Alright then. See ya later."

"Bye bye."

Holly watched Jack head to the door, walking into the wall first.

"Where's the door?" he muttered, groping around the wall.

Jack found the handle and ripped it open, falling backwards. He stood back up and began walking down the street.

"Where the hell do I live?"

Jack staggered down the street and down into an alley. The alley just so happened to be Gotham's prostitute street.

A blond girl with heavily caked on makeup and blue eye shadow going above her eyebrows raised her eyebrow as she saw Jack walking down the street gripping onto the wall. She elbowed her brunette friend and got her attention over to Jack. The brunette was wearing a little less makeup, but she had green eye shadow smothered on. The two women wearing tight shirts that had rips in them, revealing their ratty bras sauntered over to Jack.

"Hey honey," the blonde smiled.

"Hey babe, do you know where I live?"

The brunette let out a gravelly laugh, "Sure hun."

Jack shrugged, "Let's go then!"

The blonde popped her gum and took Jack's arm. She gave her friend a grin. The brunette took one of Jack's arms and they walked down the street.

"So, I'm gonna call you Sweet Ass," Jack nodded to the blonde.

"What about me?" the brunette smiled.

"You are Suga Lump."

"Say what?"

"Yeah."

"But that's a black chick name."

"Yeah, it's ok though you are my Frosted Suga Lump."

The brunette pouted, "Why do we always get the drunks."

"No clue," the blonde shrugged.

After a few minutes of walking Jack stopped in front of Harvey's old house.

"Here we are," Jack smirked.

The blonde looked at the house, "Uh… it looks…"

"Um…" The brunette mumbled.

Jack walked up to the door and tried to open the door, "Damn it's locked."

Jack lifted his leg and kicked in the door's lock. He moved inside, with the girls behind him.

Jack turned to the brunette, "So, what is your name beautiful?"

"Uh… Trixie."

"And yours?"

"Summer…"

"Alright. The bedroom is back here."

The girls followed after Jack into Harvey's old bedroom.

Trixie looked at Jack, "So what would you like?"

"The normal? Are you guys whores?"

"We prefer hookers," Summer smiled pushing Jack on the bed.

"Oh. Ok then."

Trixie straddled Jack's chest, "I call his lower parts. You can have above the waist."

Summer growled, "Fine."

Trixie unzipped Jack's pants and pulled them down.

"Oh damn… I forgot I have a girlfriend," Jack mumbled.

"She won't mind," Summer sighed leaning down and licking Jack's lips.

"Alrighty then, let's do this!"

Summer pulled off her shirt and slipped off her mini skirt.

"Woah…" Jack muttered.

Summer growled, "What now."

"You are not wearing panties…"

Trixie snickered and ripped of Jack's pants. She slid his boxers down his legs and kissed his thigh.

Jack sighed, "Do I have to do anything?"

"No, just sit there and enjoy the ride," Trixie smiled.

"When the hell did we get to Disneyland?"

Summer blinked, "Never mind."

"Woo hoo!" Jack cheered, "Splash Mountain!"

Summer looked up at Trixie and sighed.

* * *

Jack groaned and rubbed his eyes, what the hell… Where was he? Why was he at Harvey's old house? Who the hell were these two girls? Why weren't they wearing clothes? Jack bit his lip and lifted the sheet off of him. Why the hell wasn't he wearing clothes?

Jack thought trying to remember last night. He groaned.

"Aww! SHIT!"

Jack crawled out of bed, pushing the hookers off of him.

"Damn," Jack muttered grabbing his boxers off the floor, "For hookers they sure sleep well."

Summer snored.

"Damn. And they can snore."

Jack picked up his pants and slipped them on; he pulled out two one hundred dollar bills and put them under the girls' pillows. He picked up his shirt and jacket and walked out to the kitchen.

Jack opened the pantry and pulled out Harvey's stash of Twinkies. Harvey believed they never went bad, so he had about 20 or more boxes stashed away.

Jack jumped up on the counter and unwrapped the Twinkie. He took a bite and checked the expiration date. Hmm. Two months ago. It still tasted fresh. Damn. This meant Harvey was right. Shit.

Jack put on his shirt and headed outside. He hailed a cab and got in; he gave the address to his current warehouse. He was sure gonna get it from Harley.

Jack grumbled and sunk down in the seat.

"Shit."

FIN


End file.
